The Farewell

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Finally the day has arrived for which I was waiting for a long time to happen. There could be a million of times when I might have prayed to god to bring this day soon in my life to relieve me from all the stresses and tensions I have faced all this time. It is the day of the wedding of my younger sister and right now I feel like I am the happiest person in the world.

There is a general belief among people that for them their own wedding is the most awaited day of their life but they will also tend to agree that the wedding of their sibling is also an event for which they are equally excited about. Talking about my personal excitement, I can state numerous reasons that is raising the level of enthusiasm for me to another level.

In order to explain this love & hate relationship that existed between the two of us, I need to start from the very beginning with the day on which you were born. I remember I was just three years old and may be too young too express my gladness of a new member coming to our family. But still there was a hidden excitement in me as I wouldn’t had to wait for my colony friends to come and play in evening anymore as I would be having a full time partner along with me with whom I could play anytime during the the day. I was also able to sense the happiness that our parents were feeling at that time as I heard Papa telling Mumma that now our family is complete. However, after a few days of your birth, I started getting a little jealous as everybody was giving you the extra attention. For previous three years I was used to getting the special attention from all the family members but when you were born, it was a caution of worry as I had to share the love and affection of my parents along with you. My fear started growing eventually with a feeling that probably our parents loves you more than me. All day they used to go gaga over ‘Meri Gudia‘ making me grow angry with frustration. Though it was your tiny little smile that used to erase all my negative thoughts and allow me to provide you with equal love that you have been getting from our parents. I really wanted to hold you in my hands like other adults and play with you but Mumma was like that I am too small to pick you up and may end up hurting you. So I actually prayed to god to make both of us grow faster so that I can have the best of my time with you. However, my wishes proved to be a nightmare for me when you grew up.

Being an elder brother in this world is almost like you are actually born with a curse of sacrificing everything all your life for your younger sibling. That phase of life actually reminds me of this thought again and again. You had a right on everything that belonged to me but the same didn’t hold true vice versa. You could have my share of chocolates and play with my toys, sometimes even break the ones that were my favorite, but still I couldn’t utter a word against you because you had an in-built ‘crocodile tears’ attack to use in front of parents. I still remember when you broke the handle of my favorite bat but managed to get away  with ‘Koi baat nahi, Chhoti Behen Hai‘ statement by Papa. At times I used to feel that you are doing it all intentionally because you liked putting your leg in the way in whatever I wanted to do. Whenever I wanted to watch Power Rangers on TV after a tiring day at school and tution, you always used to come in the picture with your obstinate attitude to watch your stupid Oswald and again Mumma was like ‘Koi baat nahi, Choti Behen Hai‘. It was always me who was on the losing side every time which made me realize that there was a lot more that was hidden in that tiny smile which I used to admire when you were born.

As you grew up, so was along the burden of being the elder brother in the house. When our parents had to go out somewhere, I was given the additional responsibility to take care of you and help you in your homework. I always wanted to ask Mumma that in my whole life I have never bothered to think about my own homework then why the hell would I show interest in your homework. And let me tell you very honestly that you were ten steps ahead than me when it comes to dumbness in Maths subject. Sometimes with that level of frustration rising high even led to some hair snatching of each other for which even Mumma had to intervene. I still remember the thrashing I got from her for beating Choti Behen and even the evening class taken by Papa. They never realized that it was actually me who got beaten up more by you during the fight. You tied Rakhi on my hand every year but I always knew that you don’t need anybody’s protection as you have the strength of Dara Singh hidden in you. You were the one who somehow managed to know most of my secrets about either me failing in a subject or my new girlfriend in college but you didn’t miss an opportunity to blackmail me about telling these to our parents and asked for some expensive gifts to provide you in return. Seriously, 80 percent of  my  entire pocket money has been spent in keeping your mouth shut all this time. Those fights resulted in us avoiding a talk each other for some time but things used to get normal in a short while. Because both of us couldn’t resist ourselves from tolerating each others madness.

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Since childhood I was aware that one day you will get married and leave the house to go to a new place. I feel that probably this thought was something that helped me to get through those tough times. I always fantasized about you leaving the house  and how I will have the right to everything I wanted to do in my house. I can have all those chocolates without sharing with anyone. I can watch anything on TV of my interest without fighting for remote. I can get rid of the daily chik chak and would get all the love from parents in the house without sharing with anyone. Now I guess I am able to validate why I am the happiest person in the world. But wait a minute! The feeling is not the same as what I would have expected. There is a certain level of mixed emotions that I am feeling at present. I have spent my entire childhood along with you but today when I see you dressed up as a bride, I feel like a grown up person leaving behind my childhood. Suddenly I am realizing that we have grown up too soon. Somewhere I am imagining that my daily life won’t be the same from now on. There will be the loud chirping that would go missing in the house from the next day. I am also wondering if I will be able to adjust to this new life with a special person missing in my home. There is also a sense of worry about your new life that lies ahead in your new house with your husband. I know you are strong enough but still that over protective nature of an elder brother is drawing my attention towards you. As the clock is ticking and the time is coming closer for your farewell, I just wanted to confess to you that my childhood won’t have been the same without you. You made me learn a lot of things about myself and yes I had to admit this that it was you that made our family complete. It would be useless to stay that I am going to miss you. But during this time of your farewell what I really pray to god is that where so ever you go, which ever place you stay and whatever phase of life you enter into, just stay happy and stay blessed.

– Anonymous

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